There's a piece of Mark in every song that I sing

So I've never been more mad at the internet than when blogger wouldn't work yesterday. While I know today isn't Mark's birthday, I did write this on his birthday.

So in case everyone didn't know, today is the 54th birthday of the remarkable Mark Petersen. Today I called home, 'Hi mom! Can I talk to, uh, Dad?' and got to have a good conversation with the man, but it definitely wasn't enough. I started thinking about Mark, and who Mark is . I would love to be able to put him into words, so he can be immortalized someday in poetry, prose, or the like.

What is this....this essence, Mark? Obviously he needs no other adjective than the word 'Mark' to describe him. The word 'Mark', so utterly simple, is Mark. There's no other way to put it. I'll bet that a great majority of my readership doesn't know that Mark's middle name is Leon. Yes grandmom is a genius namer.

When most people meet Mark, they either think 'souless man of evil' (if they are unfortunate to be serving Mark at a restaurant, gas station, etc...) or 'cuddly tedybear'. But when one gets to know Mark better, Mark becomes 'a cuddly teddy bear that likes to be as annoying as possible to everyone he loves'. Now THAT is a father.

At this point you may be wondering why I use no 3rd person pronouns, but insist on saying 'Mark' over and over again. The reason is the same as why I started calling my father by his Christian name when I was 16: because Mark is the best word/name in any language, and should be said as often as possible. Why this is is a mystery, but it is still a fact. Some philosophers have hypothesized that 'Mark' is the Form of 'human names'. It would be good to take a look at this name to find out more how to describe Mark:

Now for the entomology of the name 'Mark Leon Petersen':
Mark= warlike
Leon=lion
petersen=son of 'rock'

Mark is warrior lion, crushing his enemies like rocks crush glass under his feet. Peace does not know Mark, and Mark does not know peace. Except, of course, when mark lays down to devour his wild prey, or when he sits on the cliffside, waiting to be pushed over to crush anyone unfortunate enough to be standing below. But that is not peace, Mark merely waits for war.
But thats only when I make a mess in the kitchen.

What about Mark during those brief times of peace?

Obviously, we should look past name meanings, and look at the common everyday use of the word 'mark'. 2 very great definitions stood out amongst the suitors at Dictionary.com:

"distinction or importance; repute; note: a man of mark."
'A man of Mark'. To be called such a thing! Anyways...

"Archaic or History/Historical. a boundary; frontier."
Mark is a frontierland, pretty sweet. Who wouldn't want to live in the land of Mark?

"an object or end desired or striven for; goal."
Yes, yes, everybody should definitely strive to be like Mark.

"a tract of land that may have been held in common by a primitive or early medieval community of peasants in Germany."
Those blessed German peasants!

Then, I found some other definitions that made me angry and defensive...

"an object of derision, scorn, manipulation, or the like"
WHAT?! NO!!!

"the intended victim of a swindler, hustler, or the like: The cardsharps picked their marks from among the tourists on the cruise ship."
THE MERE THOUGHT IS HORRIFYING! Robbing Mark on a cuise ship??? Just because he likes to watch and make fun of other people on board?!!!!

Well, its clear that Mark is an essence impossible to describe in words. I just hope that he has had a very happy birthday, and that the next 54 will be even better.

For his birthday, I wanted to make a list of my 'top 54 Mark moments'. But Mark is a simple guy, so I'm going to make a simple list.
Warning: Only daughters of Mark will remotely understand this list.

5.) Every single time he has reached into a bag of wheat thins and shoved an inhuman amount into his mouth.

4.) 'GOODNIGHT!'

3.) 'TOOTHBRUSHES DON'T GROW ON MONEY!'

2.) The time mom put Mark on a diet and I opened the bag of animal cookies in our pantry, and yelled 'Why are there only white ones in this bag???' Being to stupid to realize that Mark had been sneaking them secretly in the middle of the night. I quickly new when he penned me against the wall and started whispering death threats, but it was too late.

1.) 'ITS THE WORST THING IVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK! AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!